7 Ways to Get More Out of Therapy
When You Feel Like You Have Nothing to Talk About
Every therapist has heard it: “I don’t really have anything to talk about today.”
You rush into your appointment after work, stressed from traffic, maybe a little late. You finally sit down, take a breath, and your mind goes blank. It’s not that you have nothing to talk about. It’s that your mind hasn’t had a chance to slow down and catch up.
Therapy can be deeply transformative, but it’s not magic. The more intention and engagement you bring, the more you’ll get out of it. Here are seven ways to make therapy work harder for you.
1. Make Therapy Part of Your Week
Consistency matters. Try to attend every session and keep a standing appointment if you can. Regularity builds momentum and accountability.
Between sessions, keep therapy in the back of your mind. Jot down notes or moments that stand out—insights, triggers, questions, or feelings you want to explore. Therapy is an investment in yourself, and showing up with intention makes that investment worthwhile.
2. Do the Homework (or Talk About Why You Didn’t)
If your therapist gives you exercises or reflections between sessions, do them. They’re not busywork—they’re bridges between your insights and your real life.
If you didn’t complete the homework, talk about it. There’s always information in resistance. Maybe you forgot, avoided, or felt overwhelmed. Exploring why can reveal hidden patterns that are just as important as the assignment itself.
3. Expect Therapy to Be Challenging
Therapy isn’t supposed to be comfortable all the time. If your usual coping strategies worked perfectly, you wouldn’t need therapy in the first place.
Growth often brings discomfort. You’ll probably bump into old defenses, beliefs, and habits that have kept you safe but also stuck. Trust the process. When therapy feels hard, it usually means you’re in the middle of something meaningful.
4. Take Care of Your Basic Needs
No amount of therapy can compensate for chronic exhaustion, malnutrition, or sleep deprivation.
Before expecting major change, make sure your foundation is stable: food, rest, hydration, and movement. If you’re struggling with anxiety but living on caffeine, or hoping therapy will fix depression while you’re barely sleeping, start by addressing those basics.
And if something feels off physically, like fatigue, pain, hormonal shifts, for example, see your doctor or a naturopathic or functional medicine provider. Emotional well-being and physical well-being are connected.
5. Communicate Openly With Your Therapist
If you’re frustrated, confused, or unsure where therapy is heading, say so. Your therapist can’t read your mind, but they do want to help you get what you need.
You can say things like:
“I feel like we’re stuck.”
“I’m not sure this approach is working for me.”
“Can we talk about the direction we’re going?”
Therapy is a relationship, and healthy relationships thrive on honest communication.
6. Be Willing to Go Deeper
Many clients spend months—or years—talking around their real pain. It’s understandable. Vulnerability feels risky. But if you hold back out of fear or pride, you’ll limit what therapy can do for you.
Your therapist doesn’t need you to be “put together.” They need you to be real. The moments that feel hardest to say are often the ones that change everything.
7. End Therapy Thoughtfully
You can end therapy whenever you want, but closure matters.
Let your therapist know ahead of time so you can process your growth, review what you’ve learned, and plan for what’s next. Ending intentionally allows you to leave with a sense of completion rather than avoidance. Think of it as graduating rather than quitting.
Final Thoughts
Therapy works best when you see it as a collaboration. You bring honesty and commitment; your therapist brings skill, structure, and perspective. Together, you build something that can change your life, but only if you’re both fully in it.
Show up. Be curious. Stay open. And keep going, even when it’s hard.
Ready to start therapy? Get started today.
Exploring how these themes resonate in your own life? Therapy can be a place to unpack, find clarity, and move forward in a way that feels true to you. If you’re interested in seeing how we might work together, please review my specializations in the “Specializations” menu at the top of the page. I provide therapy to women in Bainbridge Island and across Washington State.
