Illness Will Point You to Your Freedom Every Time
I have noticed something remarkable in my work with clients with medical conditions - something you don't expect when getting diagnosed with a chronic illness.
Freedom.
Before your mind gets in a tizzy about that, let me explain.
Chronic illness has this way of testing your will - either by having nothing happen or having everything happen at once. It presses every button we have. It catapults us into a process of pain, confusion, disorientation, and anger. It turns our life upside down and creates enormous uncertainty. One day you don't think you can endure another minute. The next day you're celebrating a walk to the mailbox.
Think about a day that was really difficult for you. How did you get through it? Did you come up with some solutions? Did you make yourself some soup even though you were tired? Or perhaps you called a friend and asked them to bring you dinner. Maybe it prompted you to schedule a doctor's appointment or make a plan to reduce your load at work.
It might feel like your life became more limited. But the thing about illness, the thing that's hard to see, is that illness will point you to your freedom every time.
Amid hopelessness and despair…
You find solutions to problems.
You find a strength you didn't know you possessed.
You find a way through.
Right now, your mind might be arguing with something like, "Illness has restricted so much of my life. I don't feel like I have more freedom. I feel like I have less."
You're right in that you feel like you have less freedom. I argue that perhaps you have less choice, not less freedom.
Most people think choice and freedom go together. You might assume that freedom means you have a right a choose and you don't have restrictions. You might also believe that the more choice you have, the more freedom you have.
It doesn't work that way.
Illness doesn’t allow you to weave a comfortable cocoon
The Problem With Choice
Choice makes it possible for you to mold your life according to your preferences. It enables you to create a world that favors what's comfortable, not necessarily what's right for you or your situation. It leads you to believe that you can construct a life that is safe and predictable.
Too much choice is a trap. By fashioning a life of comfort, you become intolerant to anything that challenges it. It makes it harder for you to deal with change. It makes you more rigid, rule-bound, and anxious. It isolates you from the richness and complexity of life.
It's true that illness reduces choice in your daily routine. It doesn't allow you to complete the long to-do lists. It doesn't let you plan out your day. It keeps you from the comfortable routine.
Instead, illness invites you to focus your attention on the essentials. It reminds you that there's only so much you can do in a day. It provides an opportunity to question the endless to-do list and consider whether your usual routine is fulfilling. Illness brings you directly in contact with the way you habitually ignore, shut down, manipulate, or control your experience.
Illness will relentlessly challenge you until you eventually connect with what is most meaningful in your life. It helps you learn to let life unfold as it will, without control. It helps you develop an internal discipline of not reacting. Illness doesn't allow you to weave a comfortable cocoon.
Reducing choice allows you to focus your attention on what's happening right now. When you're not choosing your next course of action or molding your life to a set of expectations, you are free.
This moment. That's where your freedom lies. Right here. Now.
What is freedom?
Your life is made up of moment-by-moment decisions. Freedom comes from being fully present and aware while making those decisions. It is the experience of not being run by your reactive mechanisms. It's about not being consumed and controlled by overwhelming emotions.
Does that give you more choice? Usually not. But you might get clarity on the right choice.
When you are on autopilot, you'll make choices based on arbitrary rules and your need for instant relief. When you're not running from pain or clinging to comfort, you are free to choose a path that aligns with your values and doesn't compromise your personal integrity or power. You will see things more clearly. You can respond with wisdom, creativity, and kindness.
It's helpful to remember these things:
Even when things feel chaotic, there is always stillness in your body.
Just beyond your fears about the future is hope that things will be okay.
Within the fight, there is also a chance to surrender.
Amid your stressful thoughts and feelings, there is an invitation to be more accepting.
When life is completely overwhelming, there's an opportunity to take out what you don't want so you can make space for what you want.
Illness is not holding you captive. Illness is offering you the gift of freedom.
