The Magic of Ditching Your Morning Routine

When Self-Improvement Becomes Another Job

Everywhere you turn, someone’s preaching about morning rituals that will “change your life.” Meditation, journaling, gratitude lists, green smoothies, ten minutes of sunlight, cold plunges. The list keeps growing.

I used to think I needed a system like that. A routine that made me productive, grounded, and radiant before 9 a.m. But here’s what my mornings actually look like:

I wake up, feed the cat before she has a meltdown, and make myself a great cup of coffee. Sometimes I unload the dishwasher. Then I sit on the couch, check email, scroll a bit, and let the cat curl up in my lap. We stay like that for about an hour before I even think about being productive.

Some mornings, I write. Other mornings, I just sit there and drink my coffee. And guess what? I don’t feel bad about it.

The Myth of the “Perfect Morning”

When I was younger, I treatment my life like one long to-do list.

I believed that staying busy made me valuable. The more I achieved, the more I deserved love, respect, and rest. Productivity became my proof of worth.

So when my body started shutting down, I did what overfunctioners do best: I made getting better another project. I researched healing protocols, booked appointments, tried every new wellness ritual, and turned recovery into another race I couldn’t win.

The irony wasn’t lost on me. Even in my healing, I was overdoing.

When Doing Less Becomes Radical

Eventually, with help, I realized that my obsession with doing was rooted in survival. It was a childhood pattern; one that once kept me safe but now kept me sick. I had built my identity on effort and control.

Letting go of that pattern didn’t happen all at once. It began with something small: allowing my mornings to be ordinary. No to-do list. No ritual. No pressure to optimize.

Now, when I notice myself trying to turn my life into another self-improvement plan, I pause. I ask what I’m trying to fix. I remind myself that doing less is not laziness—it’s recovery.

Questions for Reflection

• What parts of your day feel like a performance?

• Which rituals actually nourish you, and which ones just feed your anxiety?

• What would it look like to be easier on yourself this week?

Your worth isn’t measured in checkboxes or morning routines. It’s measured in how willing you are to be present in your own life, even when you’re doing nothing at all.

If you’re noticing signs of burnout or feeling stretched thin by overdoing, you can explore support through ongoing therapy here or learn about my focused, three-hour intensive designed to help you reset and make meaningful changes more quickly here.

Exploring how these themes resonate in your own life? Therapy can be a place to unpack, find clarity, and move forward in a way that feels true to you. If you’re interested in seeing how we might work together, please review my specializations in the “Specializations” menu at the top of the page. I provide therapy to women in Bainbridge Island and across Washington State.