Staying Motivated When You're Sick, Tired, or Depressed
When Motivation Feels Out of Reach
We all know what it’s like to want something but feel completely unable to move toward it. Maybe it’s the weight of chronic illness, the fog of depression, or the steady hum of anxiety that makes every small task feel monumental.
You tell yourself, “I should get up and go for a walk,” or “I need to start that project,” but your body and mind refuse to cooperate. You end up frustrated and disappointed, wondering why willpower never seems to be enough.
If you’ve been there, you’re not alone.
The Battle Between “Should” and “Want”
One of my clients once said, “I know I should take better care of myself, but every time I try, my anxiety kicks in. I end up on the couch feeling like I failed again.”
This tug-of-war between what we think we should do and what we actually want to do is exhausting. The more we push, the more resistance we feel.
The trick isn’t to force motivation. It’s to reframe the way you think about action.
Try changing “should” into “will.”
Instead of “I should take my medication,” say, “I will take my medication because it helps me live the life I want.”
Instead of “I should pay my bills,” try, “I will pay my bills because it gives me security and peace of mind.”
When we connect our actions to meaning rather than obligation, they stop feeling like chores and start feeling like choices.
Willingness: The Missing Piece
Motivation isn’t about waiting to feel ready. It’s about being willing.
Willingness means you take action even when you feel anxious, sad, or physically drained. It’s the quiet, powerful decision to keep showing up for yourself, even when you don’t feel like it.
Imagine holding a feather in one hand and a cactus in the other. The feather is the easy part of life—the task that feels light and pleasant. The cactus is the hard part—the fatigue, pain, or fear that comes with doing something uncomfortable.
Willingness is about holding the cactus without tightening your grip. You don’t have to like it, but you can choose to hold it anyway.
A Better Metaphor for Motivation
Think about a hiker on a steep trail. The air is thin, the rocks are sharp, and the climb feels endless. Every few steps, doubt creeps in.
But the hiker keeps going. Not because it feels good, but because the view from the top is worth it.
That’s what willingness looks like in real life. It’s not a burst of energy or inspiration. It’s the quiet endurance that says, “I can take one more step.”
When Motivation Is Hard to Find
You might not feel inspired, energized, or positive. That’s okay. Those aren’t requirements for taking meaningful action.
When you find yourself stuck, try asking one simple question:
“Am I willing?”
Am I willing to take one small step, even with this discomfort? Am I willing to move toward what matters, even when I’m tired?
You don’t need to conquer the mountain today. You just need to keep walking toward the life you want.
Interested in therapy?
Burnout, overwhelm, or people-pleasing? Learn about support for burnout and boundaries here or explore my focused three-hour intensive here.
Questioning your direction or identity in midlife? Read about therapy for midlife transitions and finding meaning here.
Wanting healthier, more grounded relationships? Explore my approach to relationship therapy for women here.
Exploring how these themes resonate in your own life? Therapy can be a place to unpack, find clarity, and move forward in a way that feels true to you. If you’re interested in seeing how we might work together, please review my specializations in the “Specializations” menu at the top of the page. I provide therapy to women in Bainbridge Island and across Washington State.
